Whiskey Advertisement Throwdown!

Drinking whiskey is great. Seriously. Is there anything better than flipping your shoes off after a hard day of work and reaching for that bottle? The delicious elixir of life infiltrates my veins and invigorates my body every time I explore the mysterious of mankind. Tonight, I did a search on how this fine spirit makes a name for itself in the advertising industry. Immediately, two old time whiskey ads caught my attention.

The first ad is a classic. Who the fuck wouldn't want to enjoy a glass of bourbon with Sean fucking Connery? Did you know he was voted Sexiest Man at age 69 AND  he also earned his knighthood in Scotland AND not to mention he fucking freed everyone from certain death by VX poison gas at Alcatraz in the movie The Rock? Now you know. What does a guy have to do to get himself on a bourbon advertisement? Be fucking awesome, that's all apparently.

The taste distinctive? Sure fucking is! The Man is Sean Connery? Yup! The Bourbon is JIM BEAM. Hook, line, sinker. If Jim Beam didn't sell enough whiskey that year to kill a small Vietnamese village then shame on them. Or maybe shame on you...

The other advertisement I found was from 1905 and was prominently displayed in the Washington Post. This might be the greatest advertisement ever.  Does this look like the face of a man who fucks around by drinking whipped cream flavored vodka? No. Instead, the ads describes him as a terrible Greek, a world champion wrestler, and not to mention has the body of a Greek god. How did this all happen? Because he drinks fucking Duffy's Pure Malt Whiskey, that's why! It doubles as a food you know...Who ya got?!