Greatest Swordsmith Ever?

Last week I stumbled upon a show called Secrets of the Viking Sword on PBS. Do not, however, let the the title deter you because this show quite possibly features the greatest swordsmith known to man.

Quick premise of the show: Master sword-forger is given the ultimate challenge: to create a replica of the Ulfberht sword, arguably the hardest sword in the world to forge, according to him.

The video below will give you just a glimpse at how intense this man is. As you watch, note three things:

1. The astonishing look of sincerity in his eyes
2. The intense music in the background
3. The reason why he makes swords..."I don't need a sword, but I have to make them. Not because I can't do anything else but because I can't do anything else." (greatest quote of all time, really)

Do you think he reached spiritual nirvana after he finished the sword?

Cold War Hero

The YouTube Generation grieves the loss of an extraordinary man: Eduard Kihl (also known as Mr. Trololo to his fans).

Simply put, this guy is a fucking legend. A little over two years ago, a YouTube video featuring an extremely happy (and creepy) baritone singer went viral. The video, seen below, is probably the most bizarre 2 minutes of entertainment you will ever watch. The first time I saw this video I was really drunk (obviously) and could not help but think "...what...the...fuck" - Since then, I've seen it multiple times and still think the same thing. However, that all changed when I learned about the death of Eduard.

What does the Trololo man have to do with history? Glad you asked. The video was filmed in Russia during the 1970s at the tail-end of the Cold War. The reason why there are no lyrics to the song (just his joyous "lalala" over and over again) is because Mr. Kihl feared for his safety. You see, the song is about an American Cowboy.  Because of its American theme, Eduard was afraid that Soviet Union officials would accuse him of being sympathetic to American culture and values (Capitalism, to name one). So the baritone singer did what he does best and sang the song without lyrics. Looking back at the video, was Eduard giving the Soviet Union a middle-finger by making purposely making himself look ridiculous?

While Eduard passed away only a few days ago (June 5th, 2012), it should be noted that he just only became aware of the popularity of his performance. 

Take your hammer and sickle and shove them up your ass Brezhnev! Eduard had a dream: To ride into the American sunset Clint Eastwood style...It doesn't get any more American than that!

A Sip of History

Winter is no joke. Mother Nature always reminds us who's boss here in New England despite it being a "mild" winter. Snow or no snow, winter usually inspires me to drink more than usual. When I'm not chugging bourbon it is sometimes good to switch things up a bit. You know, confuse the palate. Some of my favorite wintertime cocktails to make are historic in nature, of course! The Coow Woow (pronounced "Coo-Woo") is considered to be America's first cocktail and is a potent concoction of spirits.

I first found out about the Coow Woow while staying at the Wayside Inn in Sudbury, Massachusetts. The official website proclaims it "is the oldest Inn still operating in the United States..."

A cheeseboard at the Wayside Inn!

This website  does a great job highlighting the history of this drink. I highly recommend a visit even if it is just for the amazing New England dinner menu.

Anyway, back to the booze. I ordered my first Coow Woow's (calling it a Cow Wow) two years ago and to my enjoyment, it went down smooth. What didn’t turn out fine was my verbal and fine motor skills after having a second! Here is the recipe for those of you feeling ambitious, brave, and historic!

To make a coow woow, mix:

• 2 parts white rum
• 1 part ginger brandy
• Pour over crushed ice
• Stir
• Strain
• Serve in a cocktail glass (and make sure you have a responsible driver!)

Somewhere in time...

What you are viewing is one of the oldest known videos to exist and still work in human history. I saw this video on CBS 60 Minutes a few months back and I just remembered how incredible it was. The video, shot in 1906 from the front of cable car, is like stepping into another world (specifically Market Street in San Francisco, California). Eerily enough San Francisco was devastated by an earthquake just days after this was filmed. Note the chaos in the streets as there were no traffic signs/lights to dictate the rules of the road. A quick search discovered the first traffic light would not be installed in the U.S. until 1914.

If you look at the related videos on YouTube there are many more versions that include music montages and footage from after the 1906 quake.

You can see the original airing of this piece on the CBS 60 Minutes website here.

Bourbon Review: Jim Beam

I've been waiting to write a review about Jim Beam for quite some time. Not because I haven't had time but because Jim Beam was the first bourbon I ever tasted and I wanted to make it a special post. Before I give you my completely biased review, here is a bit of background information...

I'd like to think many people remember their first encounter with hard liquor. For me, it was a one-sided massacre between a bad bottle of vodka and myself (a skinny and overly awkward 14 year old ). I was staying the night at a campground in New Hampshire with a high school buddy and like almost every young teenager we wanted to try and get wasted. Well, eight shots of crappy vodka later and we were undoubtedly on our way. Now combine those shots with two pulled-pork sandwiches and you can get an idea of what a horrible experience I had. I still won't drink vodka to this day.

It wasn't until college that I really decided to drink more responsibly - and by responsibly I mean buying a quality booze that didn't taste like the water from a dehumidifier. I wanted to avoid the fruity cocktail mixers and "flavored" spirits I knew many enjoyed. But as a poor college student my choices were fairly limited. The extremely unsafe liquor store I frequented was filled with racks of generic rum, expensive tequila, or the obvious: shitty vodka. And that's when I saw Jim Beam.

I had heard of Jim Beam before and I was amazed to see that the label read "Jim Beam"  and not "Jim Bean" like I heard it pronounced by buddies in high school and college. The best part? It was $15.99 for a handle. I hadn't tasted bourbon before and hell I didn't even know what the word bourbon meant. I just knew I had to make a bold choice right there. So I handed the store clerk my fake California I.D. and purchased my first bottle of Jim Beam illegally. The rest was history...and I was hooked!

Some of my best moments in life come from being under the influence of Jim Beam (my AOL instant messenger "away message" infamously would tell all of my friends when this was true as it read "Jim Beam is the boss of my body tonight"). Jim Beam became so much a part of my drinking regiment that it actually inspired my friends to give me an alter ego. "Tim Beam" would come out every weekend and if you were lucky, on weekdays. Tim Beam would encourage you to take shots at 9am (and call you a pussy if you didn't), break things that you cared about, breaks things that other people cared about, and to make you take part in activities that would otherwise be considered illegal outside the realm of college. My lasting college memory of Jim Beam? Me wearing a pink tutu on Halloween passed out on my futon with Jim Beam bottle in hand and Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" playing on repeat in the background. Classic.

Classic memories such as the ones I shared above could not have been possible without a classic spirit. Jim Beam is just that and more. Many bourbon "purists" stick their noses up towards any Jim Beam product. Not me. For me, the light amber colored liquid is worth so much more than its inexpensive price tag and watered down flavor suggests.

It's a drink that inspires and motivates. It's a drink that makes boys into men and your breath smell like your 88 year old grandfather. To put in bluntly, Jim Beam epitomizes all that is right about America.

Oh yea, and that review I promised you? Here it is. Jim Beam:  Honest. Simple. Undemanding.

Whiskey Advertisement Throwdown!

Drinking whiskey is great. Seriously. Is there anything better than flipping your shoes off after a hard day of work and reaching for that bottle? The delicious elixir of life infiltrates my veins and invigorates my body every time I explore the mysterious of mankind. Tonight, I did a search on how this fine spirit makes a name for itself in the advertising industry. Immediately, two old time whiskey ads caught my attention.

The first ad is a classic. Who the fuck wouldn't want to enjoy a glass of bourbon with Sean fucking Connery? Did you know he was voted Sexiest Man at age 69 AND  he also earned his knighthood in Scotland AND not to mention he fucking freed everyone from certain death by VX poison gas at Alcatraz in the movie The Rock? Now you know. What does a guy have to do to get himself on a bourbon advertisement? Be fucking awesome, that's all apparently.

The taste distinctive? Sure fucking is! The Man is Sean Connery? Yup! The Bourbon is JIM BEAM. Hook, line, sinker. If Jim Beam didn't sell enough whiskey that year to kill a small Vietnamese village then shame on them. Or maybe shame on you...

The other advertisement I found was from 1905 and was prominently displayed in the Washington Post. This might be the greatest advertisement ever.  Does this look like the face of a man who fucks around by drinking whipped cream flavored vodka? No. Instead, the ads describes him as a terrible Greek, a world champion wrestler, and not to mention has the body of a Greek god. How did this all happen? Because he drinks fucking Duffy's Pure Malt Whiskey, that's why! It doubles as a food you know...Who ya got?!

A Glimpse into the Past

Were any of the Founding Fathers photographed in their old age? Who was the first U.S. President of whom a photographic portrait was made? I thought these questions to myself the other night and my search did not come up disappointing.

About up until the 1840s, photography was not a feasible hobby or a profitable occupation. It must be known that very few photographs from before 1839 exist.

None of the signers of the Declaration of Independence in 1776 nor the delegates to the 1787 Federal Convention were alive in the 1840s. In fact, the oldest living of the bunch was James Madison who died at the age of 85 in 1836.

My search did yield some interesting first presidential photographs though, including John Quincy Adams. Though not a Founding Father, JQA was the first non-sitting president to be photographed. This daguerreotype is from 1843. 














This one is of William Henry Harrison, the 9th President of the United States. This was done two years earlier than John Quincy's, in 1841. It also was the first capture of a sitting President in U.S. history.

 Andrew Jackson in 1845.

Above is Martin van Buren in 1855.

To the left is a portrait of Lincoln. Although the color added to this is obviously the result of a computer enhancement, it still is very cool.

Bourbon Review: Jim Beam Red Stag

Today in America a "real" man is usually not seen drinking any type of drink with fruit in it. For example, have you ever seen MacGuyver, Clint Eastwood, or Bob Vila drinking fruity booze? Exactly. However, I am a firm believer that there is an exception to just about every rule. That exception, my friends, is Jim Beam's newest type of bourbon, Red Stag. It is a Jim Beam white label bourbon infused with black cherry. Girlish? Yes. Delicious? Absolutely.

Now before you judge consider the following: John Adams would drink a pint of hard cider every morning. That's 16oz of fruity apple delight every single day (AND LOOK WHAT HE ACCOMPLISHED!)  Let's face it - some of the finest feats in United States history were accomplished under booze-induced hogmanays. The achievements in my life will be accomplished no differently, even if it means drinking cherry infused bourbon. Here are goods on Jim Beam Red Stag:

Bottling Name: Red Stag
Bottled By: James B. Beam Distilling Co.
Location: Clermont, Kentucky
Alcohol Content: 80 Proof
Bourbon Type: Kentucky Straight
Aged: 4-years

Drunk History Guy Says: 

Look, I could sit here and analyze this bourbon by "nose", "taste", and "finish" but I don't really care about all that. All I care about are the two most important questions I ask myself when it comes to tasting new bourbon: How does it taste going down and how quickly will it take to get me drunk?

To answer the first question I'd like to compare the Red Stag experience to sharing a moment with one of history's sassiest black singers, Aretha Franklin. She's sweet, thick, golden brown, and makes you feel warm all over. That is exactly how I would describe the first sip of Red Stag.

In terms of the second question, getting drunk off of this stuff is extremely easy. There are two factors that contribute to this:
1. The obvious:I am skinny and literally have zero alcohol tolerance
2. Although it is only 80 proof, the delicious cherry flavor tastes like a freeze-pop and makes it easy to chug two or three glasses.

The Bottom Line:
So there you have it, girly man. Drinking a bourbon with fruit never made you look and feel so cool. Besides, at $17.99 a bottle, I'm left with $2 to go buy some nail polish that matches my fruity drink. Pinkies up!